It’s a common misconception that only weak, unempowered women ever have issues with denial. Even the strongest sugar baby can miss some very important truths because of deeply ingrained social norms and years of bad experiences. But it’s so essential to unlearn that thinking sooner rather than later.
To begin with, denial takes a real toll on someone – physically, emotionally, and mentally. And the longer you go without unpacking the reasons for it, the longer you’re doomed to keep repeating the same old patterns. The following are some common toxic beliefs that many sugar babies struggle with, making it difficult to end toxic relationships. Do any of them sound familiar?
Being vulnerable is always a mistake
We get it. Relationships with other people are hard, and a person can only get hurt so many times before they start wondering if it’s even worth it. But blaming your innate ability to be vulnerable and locking it away for good isn’t the answer, even if it feels like it is sometimes.
You can’t experience real love, happiness, and connection without vulnerability. The key to turning things around isn’t to decide never to open up again. It’s to choose the sugar daddies to whom you do open up with care while also realizing that nothing in life is a sure thing.
The right for me will be perfect and easy
It doesn’t matter what a sugar baby substitutes for the blank with this one, because the end result is the same. Maybe you’re the type who thinks a relationship with the right sugar daddy means you’ll never again have to have an argument or deal with being hurt. Or perhaps you think getting your dream job will be the missing puzzle piece that magically completes your life.
The thing is, there’s no such thing as a perfect job, relationship, situation, or anything else. Anything worth having takes work and comes with its share of problems. And nothing stays the same, either. The sooner you embrace that, the sooner the rest of your life can begin.
I can stop whenever I want to
If there’s one statement nearly everyone in trouble makes right before their life drops off a cliff, it’s probably this one. It doesn’t matter if you, your sugar daddy, or someone else entirely is struggling with an addiction, anger issues, or anything else super serious. If breaking toxic patterns were simply a matter of wanting to, there’d be no need ever to say this.
So if this is something you’ve caught yourself saying about anything in particular, know that it’s OK to need help. Most people do at one point in their lives or another. Reaching out and asking for it is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Strong people aren’t ever sad or angry
Naturally, no sugar baby wants to feel sad, angry, afraid, frustrated, or anything else negative. But that’s really just not realistic, regardless of how strong a person might be. Strong, brave, valuable people feel scared, uncertain, or upset now and again just as surely as anyone else.
At the end of the day, you’re only human. So is everyone else, including your sugar daddy, family, mentors, and good friends. Every life is full of ups and downs, so experiencing a full range of human emotions is inevitable. That said, it’s essential to focus on living a whole, well-balanced life and to understand that negative emotions are part of that for everyone.
Nothing’s worse than loneliness
Although loneliness is never a good feeling, being alone isn’t necessarily a bad thing. When people believe nothing is worse than being alone, they’re vulnerable to settling for toxic, abusive, or just downright miserable relationships with other people because they assume it’s better than nothing.
In actuality, a good relationship with yourself is essential. Every sugar baby should be her own best friend and learn to enjoy her own company. That’s the best way to make sure you fall in love with a sugar daddy and commit when you’re ready and not just because you’re afraid of being alone.
They didn’t mean to
No sugar baby should make excuses for another person’s poor or abusive conduct. Whether you’re talking about someone hitting you, disrespecting you, or doing things you know are wrong beyond the shadow of any doubt, you should never make excuses for another adult person’s bad behavior.
If the person’s an adult, then they know right from wrong. And when they do wrong, they should own up to it, make amends, and – if necessary – seek professional help. They don’t blame others or make excuses, so you shouldn’t either.
Becoming a more empowered sugar baby is always a work in progress. But unlearning toxic beliefs and ousting denial from your life are essential steps to take, any way you look at it. Get started today, and take the first step into a better life.