4 Ways to Be More Effective the Next Time You Ask For Help

It is not a weakness to ask for help but a strength. One question that comes to mind is why people feel apologetic or shy while asking others for help. You have heard the below sentences many times when requested by someone to help.

“I am sorry, but I need your help.”

“If you don’t mind, can I ask you for some help?”

“I hate to say this, but can you please help me.”

There is no embarrassment in asking for help and that is why we need to change the norms. Recent studies have revealed the fact that asking for help makes a person smarter, confident, likable, and more competent.
On the other side, people like to help others because it increases their happiness. It also boosts the sense of self-worth in a person. So asking for help is mutually beneficial for both persons.

Let’s have a look at four effective ways, as described by Dr. Heidi Grant in her recent TED talk, to ask for help. Dr. Heidi is a social psychologist and known for her work on helping others and asking for help.

1. Being Specific:

A person can help us in a better way if he knows the exact needs and goals of the purpose. So to have effective help from others we need to be direct and specific about our needs.

We consider it a norm in our society that a person will understand our thoughts and needs without explaining it to him/her. This phenomenon is also known as the Illusion of transparency in psychology.

Being Specific

But it is not the case in reality and we have to explain it to others clearly if we are going to ask for some help. It is important for the other person to know so he can help you in the best possible way. For example, you can always visit paperwritten.com to get a direct help with homework.

2. No Need for Bribe or Apology:

Sometimes using apologetic words seems nice to break the ice and start the conversation. But while asking for help, there is no need to use such words that make you feel guilty or apologetic. According to Dr. Heidi, it makes things more difficult for people so we need to avoid being apologetic.

Another important thing while asking for help is not to offer a bribe. An example of it can be asking a friend to help you in moving to a new house and in return, you will pay him/her something. It devalues the relationship so we need to avoid such things.

The actual goal of asking help remains the enthusiasm and real willingness to help you, rather than coaxing someone to help you.

3. Request in person for help if possible:

Feel of vulnerability makes the request of help quite difficult. To avoid these feelings most people prefer to ask for help using email, texts or phone.

The most effective way to ask for help is to request in person. It decreases the chances of saying no by others significantly.

As per research, in-person request for help has a chance to get yes from others more than thirty times as compared to the request for help on email or text.

Request in person for help if possible

It is difficult and many people feel uncomfortable asking for help in person, but it is beneficial in the long run. Always take the required time but try to ask in person for help.

4. Following up Every ‘Yes’:

To move on to the next thing once help is received is easy but not the right approach. We need to update about the outcome and show our gratitude to the person who has helped us. It is important to build a relationship. It is also the right of a person who has helped when we needed it.

The best way to say thanks to the person is to let him/her know how things went after his/her help. It is part of ethics and courteous along with building strong connections.


These four are the most effective ways to ask for help without being vulnerable. It also helps to get things done is a nice and simple way with the help of others.